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I'm already DEAD....so say farewell to my fucking flesh

16th June, 2013. 12:25 pm. Overwhelmed

Maintaining mental health is EXHAUSTING. Maintaining diabetes is EXHAUSTING. EXHAUSTING + EXAUSTING = would like to sleep forever. Thanks.

Current mood: disappointed.

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7th February, 2013. 9:52 am. Typical

Guy wants girl.
Girl does not want guy.
Guy persists.
Girl gives in.
Guy abandons.
Girl pines.
Guys are assholes.
Girls are idiots.

Such is.

Current mood: annoyed.

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17th January, 2013. 9:55 am. Males

My thoughts on the male species are negative, angry and biased by the many trivial encounters I have endured in their presence.
~they have a glorified skin tag, that while pleasurable is the bain of anyone with an amygdala
~they make women stupid with stupid feelings, stupid thoughts and stupid hormones
~they are never prince charmings
~I wish to feel nothing towards them, it only brings out confusion and hurt that I would rather do without

Current mood: aggravated.

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6th January, 2013. 12:21 am. Disgusted

I have the emotional capabilities of a 3 year old, unable to regulate or control anything. Even though I thought years of therapy would be enough to prepare me for this moment, I am broken. So broken. And so viscerally ill over this. The attempt to muster all the "happiness" for him has taken its toll. I am ready to surrender to anything that comes my way now. Please just let me go. I have even failed my own therapist by not being able to do this. WTF is wrong with me?

Current mood: nauseated.

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30th November, 2012. 9:59 am. Con fused

How confused am I? VERY! I have no idea what the hell is wrong with me. I am super anxious....I dunno why. Every time I think I am on the mend and the pills are working, something irks me. And it is something inside....more therapy I guess. As an aside: I wonder if therapists are ever like "I wish this person with their boring bullshit would stop coming to me" Hmmmm....

Current mood: confused.

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18th October, 2012. 10:08 am. Blergh

I don't know what is zapping all of my energy. I am sick of dealing with everything. I am keeping myself retardedly busy so I do not have time to think. This may be the problem. Or it may be a good solution to the alternative. I dunno what is better: anxiety being up or facing the fact that my pills may be failing me yet again.

Current mood: blah.

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31st May, 2012. 9:57 am. Adversity Everywhere

I am seeing some sadness and struggles and frustrations and anger in a lot of people lately re: their life, their goals etc. When will this all go away, and if not, what is the point? I really struggle with this.

Current mood: busy.

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25th April, 2012. 9:50 am. Done

I am so done.

Current mood: apathetic.

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11th April, 2012. 10:12 am. Here we go again

I am so tired of everything. :(

Current mood: melancholy.

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18th March, 2012. 1:13 am. godammmmmmmmit

I have been going insane allllll week cuz of this Insulin BS.
~They are having medicine shortages, including my insulin
~I preordered a month ago to avoid this issue
~At the beginning of the week I realized I would be out by Saturday
~Monday morning I called my doc to prescribe an insulin by leaving a message
~Assistant calls back and asks me to get the pharmacy to send a form stating the shortage
~I ask the pharmacy and they have no record of my last script.....which is nuts cuz I only go there :/
~They tell me to call doc and tell them to send new script
~Tuesday I leave another message with the doc
~Wednesday the assistant calls back and tells me to come and get some from their office....at 3pm. I work.
~I explain the need to have the stuff by Sat and that I would like huma.
~Thursday I get a call saying doc called pharmacy
~Friday I hear nothing and so go to pharmacy anyway and they have it-thanks for letting me in on it
~I ask the pharmasist if it fits my pen (show them it) and he says yes which is good cuz they don't even have a pen there
~Saturday morning go to take shot and it does not fit my fucking pen
~Lay down and say fuck this then my friend calls and tells me to drive for a pen so I do, having not eaten which is a huge issue
~Get pen and go home to inject and it is a full pen, not half
~I freak, call mum and she calms me
~Saturday later I go to pharmacy and tell them I need a junior pen cuz I have an ED and do not want to eat....
~they say they will see for Monday

Current mood: crazy.

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